Beth's Journal

Ugh. Life has been... a thing the past couple weeks.

I started dealing with some shortness of breath and feeling like my heart was pounding while just sitting at my desk - and it looks like the culprit may be my ADHD meds. I reached out to my doctor's office about it, and got the ever so helpful response of "stop all ADD meds until next appointment" - so I'm off my meds until next month. Time to drag out all those old coping mechanisms I used to use before I got diagnosed and on medication, wheeeee.

On top of that, poor Hannah has an ear infection and a claw bed infection in both her dewclaws, and I had the joy of learning how to give a cat pills and eardrops for the first time in my life! (And the first time in Hannah's life, too, since she's been pretty damn healthy up until now.) She's also got elevated liver levels, and her white blood cell count is high (probably due to her infections), and I'm a stupid anxious mess over my old baby cat. She hates it every time I put ear drops in, and won't let me go near her for like a half hour afterwards, which makes me feel bad. She hasn't gone poop in two days, either, and is dealing with a little nausea from the antibiotics, so I have to go pick up more medications for her after I get done with work today.

I need a break from life. Can I do spring break over again, please?

It feels like today's gone on forever. It's the second day I've had that started with an emergency (yesterday Mom called me at 7:30 am freaking out because she thought Johanna took her meds, when she actually just put them back where they were, on the bench behind her bedroom door, in a basket, which took her maybe a half hour or an hour to find; today it was Bryan saying "oh hay your tent collapsed under the snow k bye"), and waking up only to dash out into the snow and yank some tent poles loose... yeah, that's not the best way to wake up. At least Tyler behaved himself today, even if he was a little bored because it was too cold to go outside and he didn't have free reign of the house due to the cleaning ladies being there. I've got Friday off, and then that should be it for the days off until the end of June, when the daily babysitting ends. I'm sorta looking forward to summer, it means more petsitting jobs and better weather. I would much rather deal with Tyler's dog some days, all Zoey does is lay around and look at me with those sad eyes. When I pet sit her, the first thing I'm going to do is give the poor doggy a bath - she needs one.

My night, now that I'm home and done with class and work for the day, is being spent listening to a series of podcasts on the history of Rome (sure it may be boring to you, but I'm finding it very interesting, at least the bits I'm absorbing), curled up in the big desk chair wearing pajamas and my mom's old bathrobe. I love this thing - it's heavy terrycloth, and it used to be on the couch for the longest time. Back when we had a couch in the living room, anyway, and not the top bunk of our old bunk beds. Mom used to use it as a blanket, and the dogs would curl up on it. It's good to snuggle up in. Almost like getting a hug from my mom.

I may go to bed soon. Sure, it's not even 8:30 pm here, but I am exhausted.

I am exhausted and I am frustrated.

I am exhausted because I wrote three and a half research papers today - I typed up 6 lesson plans (totaling 10 pages), ran around campus for a little bit, and took the first of my final exams. (Which I'm pretty sure I aced.)

I am frustrated because I was planning on going in to observe next week, for my last day of pre-student teaching. Because of this, I don't have my 100 hour sheet signed, nor do I have my week 14 evaluation filled out. And I'll end up being three hours short. And I have to scan in my evaluation form, so Mrs. Burnett can fill it out, scan it, and send it back to me.

AUGH.

If it's not one thing it's another.

At least I have a job interview tomorrow. I'm going to wear my new blue shirt and hope for the best.

Oh lordy lou I am TIRED.

I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. At least I've noticed that even if what I type up for a pre-student teaching assignment sounds like crap to me, it's probably utterly brilliant. The assignments are scored on a scale of 0-3, and I've only gotten one 2.5 - the rest of my assignments have been 3s.

I'm going to paint my nails and listen to Friendly Fires while I crank out this assessment report paper. I got to see maybe three tests all semester - Mrs. Burnett usually gives them on Fridays, and I'm only there on Mondays.

Friendly Fires is good stuff. I found them on accident, through a yooouuutuuube video Bry showed me. (Yooouuutuuube goes and spits out Youtube videos frame by frame, creating some interesting visual effects. The video for Friendly Fires' Skeleton Boy is sweet, stretched out like that.) I have pretty eclectic tastes, and it makes for some interesting situations when putting my iPod on random. XD

Eh, I guess I better get on that assignment. Maybe I'll crank out some Black Jewels fanfic later if I'm feeling up to it, just to write something that's not educational at all. I can't be a teacher all the time.